Just 6 months left

As my last semester of college quickly approaches, I have begun to wonder, what next? I'm ok with not having plans and not knowing where I'm going. I think what intimidates me is actually knowing. What if I go somewhere and have no one? What then? Being alone this past week with everyone being gone over break has got me thinking about all this. I'm not ready to grow up and be on my own. I'm not ready to be an adult and have a real job. I'm not ready to be done with college and move out of my house. Not really sure the point of me writing this down except to clear my own head...

Here and Now

While is Washington this summer, I got into the habit (I say it like it's a bad thing, which it definitely wasn't) of living in the moment. Not thinking about my days off in the future or the group that was coming in later that week but living in moment that was right in front of my eyes. This mind set especially helped at the beginning of the summer when I had no idea what I was doing or why I was even in WA. As time went on, it helped me not check out mentally when I had to start getting ready to head back to NM.
Now, as I am back in the swing of things, I am having a difficult time being in the moment. I keep thinking of May and what's to come, next month and hospitality conferences, and I even keep thinking of future weather and how magical fall weather is. What happened to being in the here and now? What happened to my mind set of being content of where God has placed me for that time and place?
Don't get me wrong. I didn't just start living in the future the minute I got back to NM. I definitely have taken advantage of being in the moment. I got a basically free trip to L.A. because I was living in the moment. I also enjoy the place I am now. My senior year at State has been magical already and I'm only a month in! Dance also helps me stay in the moment. Whenever I'm dancing, I can't think of anything I'd rather be doing. It calms my nerves, excites my soul, and moves my body. What else can you ask for?
I have found that it's almost easier to think about the future and what it may hold rather than think about what lies right before my eyes. So I'm going to start doing a practice I did while I was in WA. Whenever I started living outside the moment, I would look around and name one thing I was in love with and/or enjoyed about WA. Wasn't too hard once I started doing it. Let's just say I have a really long list of things in WA I love and could definitely go back for. So that's what I'm going to start doing here; listing off things that I enjoy and love about the place I'm in now.
To start, I love the festivals in New Mexico. They are one-of-a-kind and so enjoyable! From the enchilada festival to the balloon fiesta, they are all magical and exciting!

The one and only WA post

It's my last night at the Loch (also known as Kalaloch Lodge). I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I've been living on a beautiful, Washington beach for the past 3 months. This summer has been full of more challenges and excitement than I can count. I have learned so many new things! I have learned from everyone here and am still trying to hold onto this magical place in every way possible before I have to head back to New Mexico. I am excited to finish up college but as I remember the beginning of this summer and how I had no idea what I was doing, I think of the future and what it could possibly hold. I look forward to new adventures and all the new learning experiences that will cross my path. Washington has taught me a new kind of beauty and Kalaloch has taught me a new kind of world. Lord only knows where I will be come May of 2012 but I know after this summer, I can take on any challenge. Washington has a new place in my heart, right next to Colorado. I feel as if I'll be back here soon but for now, I anticipate my senior and final year in college.

There's No Place Like Home

There's a local coffee shop in Las Cruces that I love going to. As I sit here smelling the enticing aroma of my fresh brewed coffee (in an actual mug!), I try to take in my surroundings. Bikers stop by after their morning ride, dog owners have their trusted companions by their side while sitting on the patio, and the smell of freshly baked goods fills the air. There isn't really anything that sticks out about this place. It's a 2 room building where local venders have plastered a corner wall with what they're selling or promoting. The stone-floored patio, adobe walls, and wooden tables and chairs makes this the essence of southwestern culture. It makes me appreciate my upbringing in such a unique place like New Mexico. With the sand, dirt, and desert landscaping, its character and appeal are often overlooked yet, many forget about our rugged mountains and distinct architecture. I have come to love New Mexico and as I start to think of where I'd like to go after I graduate in a year, I feel as if I'll be back here soon enough.

Beautiful Resurrection

He'd rather go to Hell for me than be in Heaven without me.

Thank you...??

I was in Wal-Mart today and got a strange comment from a older gentleman. He walks by me and says, "It is so nice to see a young woman look like a real lady. Thank you!" I never got any clarity on what he meant by this so I became infatuated with his comment. What exactly makes me a lady? Was it the fact I was wearing a dress and not the typical wear a college girl is seen in? Was it because I was holding a hamper I was about to purchase or because I was in the cooking section and both of these are assumptions of what role a woman should take at some point in her life? The caring wife/mother who takes on the task of providing a clean house and cooked meals for whom she is supplying them to? I know I am completely overthinking a man's simple comment but the idea of what a "lady" is seems to be continually changing so what does it mean in today's culture? And will there always been an assumption that I am to take on that role of a wife/mother?

Never have I ever....

...thought I could be so busy. I know I touched on it in my last blog post but I wanted to go a little more indepth on it. A typical day for me starts with an early morning run (if I'm not heading to my 7:30 am class), then classes in the morning/afternoon then off to work then back home to study 'til I can barely keep my eyes open. This is not supposed to be a post venting about the frustrations of life. I'm actually going for the opposite. In all of this craziness, I have found peace. Finally! Last week and this week are on the end of the spectrum from one another. And the only thing that has changed is my attitude about it all. I'm trying to live in the moment, which can be hard when a big portion of my life right is also trying to figure out where I want to go for this summer. Minnesota, South Dakota, Texas, Alaska...oh the choices!
A part of living in the moment is deciding in what I'm surrounding myself with. I have 2 amazing roommates who encourage me daily and without them, I probably would be writing about the frustations of life. My professors are patient and for that, I am grateful. School is long and hard but with them, it seems achievable. Work is grueling the hour before I go in but the moment I am there, I enjoy myself and what I do. My coworkers also make everything that much better. I am truly blessed with a good job I enjoy. I have an extraordinary family, that even though we are 300 miles apart, I feel connected and still part of their lives. And lastly, part of living in the moment is deciding what I listen to. If any of you know me, I enjoy hip hop music with a good beat, country music with good vocals, and really anything else but lately, I have devoted my listening ears to Pandora.com and Christian artists such as Coffey Anderson, Bethany Dillon, and Gungor. It's amazing when hearing music and talents of people praising Jesus. It has helped me to be focused, keep calm, and enjoy where I currently am in life.
So many things are going on right now that I can't even keep track of...opportunities for the summer, tests for school, a youth retreat I'm part of this upcoming weekend, and so much more. God has really interceded in my life this past week. He has opened up my ears and calmed my heart. For this, I am most grateful. Last week, I was at a loss of what to do with where I was and everything going on. Now, even though my schedule has not settled down at all and may even be more hectic this week with midterms, God has given me a peace about it all. Never have I ever been so busy but never have I ever seen such a drastic, God-filled change like the one I've seen in this week and last.

Beautiful Things-Gungor
Imagination-Bethany Dillon
Captivate Us (ft. Charlie Hall)-Watermark

It's About to Get Crazy Up in Here!

I don't know how I'm going to write this without it all sounding like jibberish but I feel like there needs to be update on life and I really need to let some of my frustration out.
The past 2 weeks of my life have been absolutely insane. This is not an understatement either. I go to school full time (18 hours ladies and gentlemen), worked almost 30 hours each week, attempted to put some Wesley time in (the Christian campus organization I'm involved in as Outreach Chair), and very poorly succeeded at keeping a social life. It's all been fun and games and I've actually been able to keep up with everything...until now. I've hit a wall; a hard one at that. I'm exhausted and overwhelmed. I keep hoping I can get a moment to breath but that moment never seems to come. I'm at the end of my sanity rope and next weekend, I'm helping lead at a youth camp. How are you supposed to give your all when you feel like there's nothing left to give?
I know the Christian card should be played here and the repetitive words of "give it all to Him," keep ringing in my mind but I'm kind of at a lost of how to do that. As a college student, you try to stay organized so you can run a somewhat orderly life; but when saying, "give it all to Him," you give up a big part of that power and control of being organized. So here is my question...how do you give it all to Jesus but still have the sanity to keep going in life? To be able to keep going because just saying you're giving it to Jesus doesn't mean life stops. It keeps going. Crazy or not, in control or handing it over, you are forced to move forward with life and decisions that encompass it all.

Job...with a long "o"

As I posted back in December, I am reading through the book of Job. After about a month and a half and reading over and over each word and chapter carefully, I have finally finished it. It probably shouldn't have taken me that long but I kinda love that it took me that long. I am so amazed by this book! Here are some of my thoughts...
At first, I thought Job's friends had some good points. (5:17-18; 34:19,21; 37:14) I then continued to read on and their words soon become too ridiculous for words. (chapter 36 says it all) I also admire for Job's responses. (9:12; 12:13; 13:15; 14:5; 19:25-27; 42:2) Even though the worst things have happened to him, he continues to put his faith in Christ and not in his friends. One of the most amazing things I read (and I made sure to share with all my roommates), was 38:31-32. God talks about constellations. Not only are these constellations that He just mentions but they still exist! We even now look into the sky and see His marvelous works that he talks about thousands of years ago! How amazing is that! It puts me in awe and wonder of how else He connects the world back then to things of this day and age.

Sleep stories

I never thought of myself as a heavy sleeper. I guess I should have guessed from all the sleep talking and walking that I'm not much a light sleeper. Several times this semester and any other time I've had a roommate, I have been told of stories of where I was talking the night before or a few times have actually woken up in the middle of sleep walking. (Crazy experience...and I usually get super angry for some reason) haha

A couple of nights ago was added to the fact I am indeed a heavy sleeper. From what I'm told, I was up for @ least an hour or more coughing over and over again. Finally, my roommate, Callie, calls out to me and asks if I want a cough drop. I mumbled something to the effect of "yes" and in little or no time, had a cough drop in my hand. I then, rolled over and fell instantly asleep. I had no recollection of any of this happening. I was sound asleep. Weird because you would think I would at least remember coughing....

And what happened to the cough drop you might ask? I found it the next day while cleaning thrown against the wall at the foot of my bed.